Disappointment

Unfortunatley, sometimes you can get so excited about something and carried away that you forget all sense of praticallity and sensibility that you wonder why you even bothered in the first place.

This is what happened to me, a few days ago. Wednesday to be precise. I'd had an interview at a nursery in Stafford, to see if they would employ me as an apprentice for my NVQ level 2. I got there late after failing to find the nursery the first time round, and was greeted by one of the managers. I had a tour round, and it was a fairly big nursery and all the staff smiled at me. I then had a chat with the other managers, including the one I'd spoke to on the phone, Steph. Everything was fine, and the other manager was concerned that travelling from where I live everyday was going to be a struggle, but I said I was prepared to do it....or so I thought.
I left the nursery feeling proud of myself, as they were obviously very interested in taking me on...and offered me a 2 week trial starting at 9 in the morning until 4:30.
I was exhausted by the time I'd reached the bus stop which was a good 20 minute walk away from the nursery...and then waited for the bus home where I saw 3 of my friends from school =] we had a good chat. They are actually doing childcare at college, but dont get a paid placement like I'll end up having. The bus journey took about 25 minutes and we stopped in the town center , and loads more people I knew from BBS got on...was weird seeing them after nearly a year.
I finally got home an hour and 10 minutes later, and Mum said It was gonna be too much...and I rang the nursery up to apologise and say I wouldn't be coming on the trial. Gutted..but sometimes you need to follow your brain over your heart. Praticality won this time.

Thursday I didn't go into training, as I felt like crap and attempted to do 1 question on my assignment and just about managed. I then collapsed into bed for an hour cause I felt too weak to anything else....today I am doing nothing and cancelled my driving lesson because I also feel not well enough to drive. I learnt that lesson last time, I'd been ill and tried to have a driving lesson but did everything wrong and felt crap about myself. *sigh*

Also, Im giving up on finding anyone right now. I dont think I can take anymore hurt or stress from a guy. Im gonna wait until I find someone who is worth my time, and will treat me like a proper girlfriend.

As for the rest of the day...I have nothing planned. I guarentee I wont be working tomorrow...idiots. So another week without pay! Gah. And EMA better come bloody soon...I hardly have anything in my bank. Im skint lol

Hallelujah!

FINALLY. SOMETHING. IS. GOING. RIGHT! =] !

Got to training this morning, and discovered that myself and another girl (who I believed hated me) we're gonna be the only ones in the classroom for the morning training session. I was greeted with a smile and a "hello" from the girl, and since that moment we were on speaking/laughing terms and I felt a whole lot better. See? Forgiveness is everything...I cannot believe the level of stress I got into because of that whole thing with her and the other girls....now all is forgiven..I hope.
Michelle made us a cup of coffee and we sat at the desk drinking our hot drinks and eating double stuffed oreo's. Mm-hmm. I then sat to ringing loads of nurseries...
Between 11:30 and 12:30 today, I sat in one of the tiny rooms in Triangle Training and rang about 20 nurseries up...really. I was trying to find a nursery that would take me on as an apprentice you see, but they are extremley hard to come across. I got some funny replies as well, as well as the, well, rude ones...Most of them wouldn't offer me a place or either had too many people already employed...I found one , which to be honest is kind of a trek from where I live, on an RAF base. I was getting all excited until they didn't ring back...well they haven't tonight either.
I rang up a nursery and I asked very politely "Do you take on childcare apprentice's?"

"Not if we dont pay them, BYE!" *hangs up*

How RUDE! lol

Then...I rang another nursery...

"Press 1 for Baby Bears
Press 2 for Tiny Tigers
....goes on...
....Press 6 to be put to the manager..."

Big place I thought LOL. Jungle more like! Tiny tigers haha

Google FTW

I rang another nursery....well...I thought it was a nursery

Me : Can I speak to the manager please?
Person : *Kids voice* We don't have a manager!

Ok... lol

THEN the most EPIC one of the whole day...

Me : Can I speak to the manager please?
Person : Im sorry theres no one here at the moment, they're out herding sheep

LOL....Herding sheep...new brand of nurseries or something? Lol...think my training center needs to update their phonebook lmao...it had me in fits xD

Mum picked me up from training and we went to ASDA and managed to spend too much on food and stuff, and then we got home and I set to ringing up loads of nurserys again...It wasn't until the last minute that I managed to talk to a lovely lady who was very interested and wants me to go for an interview! WOW... RESULT!


Since then, Ive been sitting on the computer and eating my 2nd creme egg of the day..naughty me...

Blogging Soap

So as I was asking Nicky about her shower....I had a rather ....good....idea...NO! Revelation!

Our Conversation

(li)August Rush(st) says:
i need to get a shower.
(li)August Rush(st) says:
brb
Rachel - says:
im back
(li)August Rush(st) says:
halloo
(li)August Rush(st) says:
me too
Rachel - says:
nice shower? feel better?
(li)August Rush(st) says:
yeah 'twas nice and warm, and i had a blog idea ;)
Rachel =] says:
woop

Then I said!

"Coming soon : Blogging Soap - Use while in the shower or bath, and let the fruity soap lather your brain with thoughts and ideas for your blog!"

And here is what I produced....

Ok, So I nicked a free image off Google and edited it on Paint but so what? I have created the very best soap you could ever imagine...I see it as "The Thinking Soap". Yes, so next time you have a shower or bath, use the blogging soap and afterwards, sit down at your computer and blog away! =] (I need to get this soap in production, I can sense high demand already)

Then I found this picture................... Hand Soap.....It scared me half to death lol

Yeh, anyway

Childcare

Today was great, tiring but that's the norm after working with children all day at Nursery.

My friend Jenna is working at Nursery with me now too, so I came in half an hour after she had and she was like "where you been" lol. The day consisted of us carrying soft play equipment around the nursery and serving everyones dinners and getting bowls of flour lol. Im feeling more at home there everyday, Im used to it cause I used to go to the after school club when I was about 8 (But hated it)...
Anyway I managed to lock myself in the office while photocopying and one of the staff called Jackie managed to spot me alone in the office with the door shut, and if it wasnt for her I would have been stranded there lol. I spent lunch in town with Jenna , and we went to see her Dad at the fire station lol....random. We got back to nursery and the kids had free play, and then the naughtiest boy David who has some kind of learning/behaviour problem stopped being horrible and came and sat on my lap out of the blue, just wanted to cuddle me...this really made me feel happy and felt like what I was doing (working with kids) was right cause it is so rewarding. He didn't want to sit with Jenna, he wanted me and that really made me feel proud of what I was doing...I seem to be the only one that can calm him down.
So I survived through the tears and arguments, toy wars and screaming until about half 2 when Greg said I was going on the school run :| eep, I hadn't done it before so we walked to the Infants and then the Juniors and survived the crazy parents and traffic with about 3 kids from each school...saw some people I knew in town including one girl who worked at Abacus where I am...and managed to grab one of our little girls, Maya, out of the road before she got run over. We got back to nursery and I went and said hello to the after school bit and they were all up there, said bye to everyone downstairs and went home.
Another rewarding day with children...yes I am mad but I LOVE it...better than sitting in a classroom all day doing boring work.

I'm exhausted...I can barely feel my legs, today has been busy! Walked about 2 miles lol
I haven't blogged for a while because I cant be bothered to be honest....loads of shit has been happening again and stuff and not been in the mood to spill about it on the internet. Anyway, I should be back now...things in my day to day life especially working at nursery are really good...infact I look forward to working there next.

Adios

Edward and I

My Channel

Empty Drawers

I chucked out a load of old clothes the other day. It made me feel a hell of a lot better doing so.
I removed clothes that are too small, I never wear and that are just sitting there because I'm emotionally attatched to them. It felt great. Trouble is, I now have no clothes left and my drawers are nearly empty....time for a shopping spree.

So if you need a restart, chuck out your old clothes and start again.

I've been ill for the past week, again. Stupid sore throat swelling up at any signs of a virus, preventing me from breathing properly. I haven't been into training or nursery and I don't want the depression creeping on to me again so Ive decided to take as many blackcurrant lempsip as possible to make me well again. Obviously I'm not that depressed as to take an overdose if you're worried or something...I just want to feel better. I'm driving tomorrow =]

Not much else has happened this week, I've just been stuck inside the house feeling lousy and spent hour after hour on Facebook. It gets very tedious after a while

I suppose I'll blog about something interesting later....

See's THE film, becomes ILL =(

I saw twilight on Monday, Yes Twilight!

It was rather random how I ended up seeing it. I was at triangle in the computer room, typing up my essay with Rosemary and Rachel. Rachel randomly just said "I wanna go to the cinema!" and I said "Really? To see what?" and she replied "Twilight" and then I said back "ME TOO!". So we ended up seeing it after training :) We wasted about 3 hours in town somehow lol and then we went and saw it. We got there mega early so had a hot chocolate in costa coffee beforehand, and then went to see the film. I literally knew all the words lol and thought it was really awesome =D Not many times I see a film where I already know the story =P but yeh I was impressed with it...and 5 words...I just have to say.... ROBERT PATTINSON IS THE SEX <3>

Anyways yeh It was a good day :)

But since then I've been ill! and it sucks....had the shivers and my throat is all swollen up =( not fair.

Now I have to drink this manky hot blackcurrant drink =( bleh

Story Preview.

From the second I opened my eyes this morning I knew today was going to be trouble.
I woke bleary eyed staring at the gray, dark ceiling and wiped the sleep from my eyes with hardly any effort. Waking up slowly but surely, something cold and wet hit my head within seconds. Drips of water were landing on my head somewhere from above and with a sigh I lept out of bed and stood on top, pressing my hand along the ceiling searching for the source of the water. I hated this house, it was so old and creaky. I'd lived here for the past few years when we had first moved here, and I swear the house needed knocking down and being built again.
Still searching for where the water was escaping from,t I realised the bed beneath me was creaking and before I knew it , the bed collapsed beneath me with a huge crack. My legs gave in beneath me and in the process , I managed to bump my head off the hard, wooden bedside table spinning my head into uncontrollable pain. I couldn't remember anything after that.

I'd always been clumsy since I was very young. It didn't help that my mother fell down the stairs while carrying me inside her , maybe It rubbed off on me when I was born.
I woke up in a very white room, I heard voices above me but it sounded so blurry and out of focus that I couldn't tell what they were saying. All I know was that I had an awful stabbing pain in the back of my head, so painful that it made me want to shut my eyes again and go back to sleep. This idea lasted for a few seconds until I heard , loudly and clearly someone say my name.

"Karen , wake up sweetheart, you're alright now". I knew I wasn't alright , but one thing I was sure of was that it was definetley my mother's voice. I opened my eyes wide and saw my mother's worried face, deep blue eyes and dark black hair in front of me , holding my hand in a cold grasp.

I asked her what had happened, and she said that I had a nasty fall. I couldn't remember anything from this morning but I still wanted to know why I had such bad misfortune and how I was wrapped up in white sheets in a hospital bed.

I heard my mother whisper, "I'll explain everything later, you rest now"

My tiredness and pain took hold of me, and I sank back into a deep sleep knowing I wouldn't wake for hours.

Back to my old self

Hear that?
I'm back to my old self! Well, I don't want to jump the gun but last night just brought me back to life!
I went out with my friends Emma and Salome and have not had seeing them for months we had loads to catch up on! We met at Pizza Hut and my mood was lifted instantly. We had to wait half an hour for a table as it was so busy but in that time we caught up and I felt so glad to be with my friends :) We ordered a stuffed crust cheese and tomato pizza, wedges with dip, salad and drinks. We were so hungry that by the time the starters came and we had fetched the salad from the salad bar, about 5 minutes later we had about 1 piece of lettuce and 2 tomatoes left from the salad as we were so hungry! So I decided to be rebellious and walked up the salad bar and filled the bowl again with tons of coleslaw/tomatoes and croutons =P Salome was shocked =P

So after passing on the cookie dough and ice cream dessert, we walked to the cinema. I had to hold Salome to stop her from falling over as she was walking in heels (silly girl) and by the time we got to the cinema, Twilight had already started so we went to see "Yes Man" instead. We got in late and pushed our way through 2 people at the end of a row, and sat down to watch the film which - no surprise- was showing the adverts before the movie. The film started and I have to say, right from the start you could tell it was gonna be a good movie, and it really was. It was hilarious! :) I must go and see Twilight this wednesday though =] Cant wait to see that.

So after the movie ended, Emma went home and I got a lift back with Salome. I got home and was all happy and felt really good. It was me who had organised it and I was so glad I did, otherwise I probably would have been jumping off a cliff right now...heh. But yeh it was great, and next weekend we have something else planned with my other friend so can't wait for that either! I've decided if you want to do something with your mates, you can't sit back and expect them to get it sorted, you have to initiate it. I've always rejected that idea, but when you fell to the point where I was at, literally in the midst of depression - I had to do something otherwise I would have , like I said, jumped off a cliff.

I've just come back from driving with my Dad in my mum's car. It's the most stupidest car to drive, and she hates it when I say it but honestly..the gear box is stupid and it is so easy to stall. I got all frustrated and turned too quickly, ended up beeping the horn and having my Dad grab the steering wheel. I got it back on track again and stopped the car, walked around the car in the fresh air to compose myself and got back in again. I have , however, been driving a luxury diesel toyota yaris with Dave my driving instructor. So to go from that to a petrol Suzuki Wagon R which is slightly old , It was difficult. But I managed in the end =] Woo!

I did have my driving lesson on Friday with Dave, I went on dual carriage ways and it was awesome =P. I really need to pass my theory so I did a bit of that today, gah just wanna get it out the way!

Back to training tomorrow , probably finish really early so will go home around 2 =P I really cant be arsed to sit in that tiny computer room at training which is like 35 degrees hot. Hopefully they'll let me go home.

Thats about it for now, I'm hungry so will probably make a toastie *Toastie Time*

Explanation

You may have noticed that my recent blogs all begin with "E"? Well I don't know why, it's just random.

I might choose another letter soon and start all my blogs after that letter. Just adds a personal touch I guess. Oh by the way, if you do read my blogs can you let me know? I hope someone does...

I have been driving today :D I thought I wouldn't be able to do anything at all after 3 weeks of no lessons, I'd missed it. I got in the car after my driving instructor was like 5 minutes late Grrr -_- We went on the dual carriageway and it was dead fun! :P I was zooming along at 60 haha and really loved it, I also managed another 3 point turn woop hehe. Yeh I love driving! =]

After my driving lesson I decided to delve down the side of my bed and couldn't believe the amount of crap lurking down the side of there! I cleared it all out, including the stack of empty useless boxes at the end of my bed and then Mum and I set to clearing out tons of clothes, I mean TONS. I chucked them all out and need to buy some more now lol ;]. It felt good though, I still had all my P.E kit from school =S Not that I'll ever need that again. *shudder*

Just been out to the fish and chip shop and Waitrose - It was crazy in both places. Got ignored by a girl who served there that I went to school with - talk about rude!

Eat tea and it was scrummy, and looked through the paper to see if there was anyone I recognised from nursery. I'm like that now, I wanna show everyone all the kids I work with at Abacus, they're so cute ^_^

Now I'm just sat on the pc blogging and talking to people. Tonight will be boring but tomorrow night won't cause hopefully me and loads of my friends are going to Pizza Hut and seeing "Twilight" so looking forward to that. Hope it goes ok.

Eye

Enthusiasm

I have finished reading twilight. Oh my goodness, what a book! Must read the next books now! :)

I've been in a room of screaming 2 and 3 year olds the entire day, my head throbbed as I left that nursery! They just never shut up! I try playing with them but they are that age where they get so bored of one thing and move to another within 1 minute, I can't keep up! It's fun though, working with children is what I want to do...just the older ones!

I got home after Mum picked me up and just texted all my friends asking them to come to the cinema with me to see "Twilight" (Obviously) in the evening. None could make it, but I rang them all up and organised pizza hut and seeing twilight this saturday night =D They all could come and my mood lifted in an instant! Even hearing my friends voices made me happier, and I can't wait until Saturday! It should be a good night.

Im so exhausted! Looking after kids is hard work! But so rewarding! =]

--

I was reading some hilarious Bush quotes earlier haha.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we"

ROFL

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

LOL!

Seriously, what is that man on? He's hilarious! =P Made me laugh.

---

I'm driving tomorrow , probably going on dual carriageways : Eep!


"Say goodbye, wish me well, you gotta let me know, are we human? Or are we dancer?"
Human- The Killers

Exhausted

Too exhausted to even start this blog now I think about it.

Let's just use words to sum up my day

Babies, screaming, crying, baby food, baby bottles, toys, tidy-up-time,

comfortability, naturalness, happyness , comfort, fitting in, enjoyment

Terrible -two's , screaming, running, crying, shouting, noise, singing, playing , story-time.

Exhaustion.

Yeah, you get the picture.

------

I still have this feeling of wanting to escape, it's with me everyday now. I don't see anyone...there seems to be nothing to do at all, Im longing for a means of escape from this environment. It's driving me to insanity now. I think I might give up now and get out sooner than I thought, do something rational just to bring me back down to earth. I had a feeling it's depression, I never thought I could sink this low but at the moment it seems like its the only serious answer to how I am feeling right now.

I think everything went downhill a few weeks before christmas, it just all spiralled downwards. I didn't feel the same anymore, I wasn't seeing anyone, I had personal problems as well as everything good I had breaking into pieces before me. I cannot really admit I am happy and that is the worst feeling, I hate not feeling happy or truthfully admitting it. Im just lying to myself right now, there seems to be no other option but to keep people under the impression that I am Rachel and I am happy, I don't want to worry anyone, but Im past the point of caring now ...I'm just like this anyway. Those who know me closely might be able to tell though, they'll have to "break through the surface" so to speak. (Referring to my blog description)

Help?

Enclosure

I feel bound to this house like I cannot escape. I plan to escape soon because I am having a breakdown of being within these 4 walls everynight, sitting alone in my room at the computer reading chapter after chapter of Twilight and becoming obsessed, it's not healthy.

My fingers are ice cold as I touch this, this room is ice cold. Outside there's snow on the ground and the temperature is below freezing, I can almost feel the ice outside. I yearn to go on a long sunny holiday in southern spain...I miss those types of holidays. England is just doom and gloom.

------

I cant sleep. I've been in bed since 10:30 under my duvet holding twilight in my hands and reading it, my hands turning to ice as I do so. I have nearly read it all now, but gave up to come online as I cant sleep and staying in bed tossing and turning is not what I want for the next 2 hours.

---

I feel trapped, lonely and fed up. I have to go out and do something different! My social life doesn't exist anymore, I barely see anyone and nothing exciting happens around here. OK, the weather doesn't help but I feel as if I need to escape and get out there. But where to go? I can't just jump on a train to Birmingham by myself....I need to go to a gig...or something.
Recentley my town that I live in seems so small and useless for any kind of impact in my social life. It is so boring here, we are near no big cities....Ok there's Telford but nothing happens there either...there's no nightlife. I need to get out and see bigger things, have the chance to meet new people.
That's why I love London so much - It's so exciting with so much to do. How I love our capital city.
I just need to escape and get out of here. It was Ok when I was younger, I mean I've lived most of my life - since I was 4 years old...But now - there's nothing to do. I need to get out.

------

I start my placement days tomorrow at a nursery, I'm worried haha. Working with children is hard work but oh so rewarding. I am excited but also nervous.


&& Can someone tell me when my guy is waiting for me around the corner? Im sick of it now, I hate this constant lonelyness, the quiet nights in yearning for someone to love and to love me. Wherever you are come out of hiding. It's killing me without you here. Whoever you may be.

Worries will melt away.

It snowed today. Lots and lots of snow!

I went to bed at 3 worrying about absoloutley everything and then had to get up at 8 and go into training. Yeh about that, I won't express my feelings...but lets just say I was upset.

Got stuck behind a tractor on the icy road, grr so slow. He was doing 30mph in a 60mph zone - gah!.

Saw my friends and finished at 2pm..thank god. The day had been OK...got home and slept for 2 hours in a deep sleep.

------------------------------------------

OK. Truth is, I feel crap. I broke down yesterday and all those bottled up feelings had released and were out in the open. I had 5 hours sleep last night and was not in a great mood. I don't want to complain but that's my problem, I never do about my problems...just about everyone elses. I worry about everyone else before myself. When someone asks me how I am, I don't like to admit I'm upset 'cause It isn't positive and I should be seen as the one who pulls herself together and moves on. This is the right thing to do through most people's eyes, but I've realised that I can't do it with it anymore. Im making myself unhappy by not talking about anything and believing I can cope when I obviously can't.

So , yeah everything happened yesterday. I was worried about training, I have been through so much....Anyway. Thats enough..

------------------------------------------

On a lighter note. I AM feeling better, a lot better than this time last night anyway. I watched some Michael Mcintyre earlier - he's hilarious! =]

Ohh &&& I really cannot stop reading Twilight ;) It's addictive!! <3

----------------------------------------------

Sorry for the lines by the way, felt like it =]

The Rachel List.

I have a sister called Nicky. She isn't my real sister but she is pretty cool and one of my bestest ever friends. Thanks for letting me use this Nicky =]

Now go read her blog > http://www.didyme-fantasma.blogspot.com/


There is a time where I will be old and grey, maybe sitting at my computer in 2040 wondering where the time went. I will be looking for this list, and seeing my young 17 year old self as I was, what my thoughts were and my likes/dislikes. Enjoy - "The Rachel List"

The Facts

1. My name is spelt Rachel not Rachael or Racheal.
2. I am 17 years and 3 months old.
3. I am 5ft 8
   
4. These answers are boring
5. I saw my cat give birth to 5 kittens in June 2008
6. I have a weird bedtime - early hours of the morning
7. I sleep with my mouth open
8. I don't like attention seekers
9. I realised that pasta bake is the easiest meal to make
10. I want a boyfriend
11. I'm fed up of being overweight
12. I need to diet
13. But I'm too lazy
14. Which doesn't help
15. I have 2 brothers
16. And 1 adopted sister
17. 2 infact
18. I have been to Spain, France, The United States of America, Holland, Belgium, Switzerland and Germany.
19. I have cousins in the USA
20. I learnt to swim at the age of 11
21. Eating food is more of a hobby.
22. Ok I lie. It's a hobby and a necessity.
23. I got a grade C at Maths GCSE
24. I wore a black dress to prom with a cream shrug and gold/cream sash.
25. I didn't have a prom date
26. I wore my school uniform for the last time on June 12th 2008.
27. Elizabeth is my middle name.
28. I have 3 cats and 1 dog.
29. I am clumsy
30. I don't sleep on aeroplanes especially long haul flights.
31. Early bed times don't exist for me.
32. I know all the lyrics to Within Temptation's songs.
33. And not enough lyrics to Nightwish's songs. I need to work on that
34. I used to live in Derbyshire
35. I now live in Shropshire
36. I wear glasses because I'm short sighted, but don't need them to look at the computer screen.
37. I own a webcam.
38. I like my webcam.
39. I love kids.
40. Marriage is important to me
41. I believe in god and have accepted Jesus as my saviour.
42. Gigs are THE place to be.
43. Photography is awesome, it's a hobby of mine.
44. I could live off pasta.
45. Im learning to drive
46. And last lesson I managed to do reverse parking in the dark
47. 3 Point Turns also.
48. The twilight book by Stephanie Meyer was bought for me as a christmas present by Nicky.
    
49. I can't put it down.
50. I am a text-a-holic
51. Not quite a blog-a-holic
52. But definetley a msn-a-holic.
53. I want to meet Within Temptation - It's my dream.
54. I'm Claustrophobic
55. Rubbish annoys me, especially in streets.
56. I have morals.
57. I like to be in control of a situation.
58. I'm trained in first aid as an appointed person in the workplace.
59. I did CPR on a dummy.
60. I have brown eyes, with a smidgen of green in them.
61. I am single.
62. I hate it.
63. I never want to go on a cruise, they scare me.
64. I can speak french and spanish.
65. Italy is my next holiday destination - In my dreams.
66. I hate blood
67. And needles
68. I'm prone to passing out quite often - something to do with low blood pressure.
69. I am employed as a saturday person.
70. They mess me around a lot.
71. I have an obsession with hoovering - I love it.
72. My finger broke and grew back funny.
    
73. I broke my big toe on my left foot once.
74. I have my ears pierced
75. Would like my helix pierced (top part of ear)
76. Randomess is my 2nd name. (Not really)
77. Im a libra.
78. Spaghetti Hoops and cheese on toast is THE SEX. <3
79. I want to work with children.
80. Blogging never interested me until Nicky got me into it.
81. Ripley is my 2nd home, with York being my 3rd home :)
82. I laugh a lot. Especially at films
83. Back to the future trilogy = My favourite films ever.
84. Jam toast is yummy.
85. I am self-concious.
86. Pettyness annoys me.
87. I would like the world to revolve around me
88. But who wouldnt?
89. Money shouldn't make you happy.
90. But it bloody well helps
91. Christian gigs are better than normal gigs as they have a meaning.
92. Although seeing Within Temptation perform live is THE BEST.
93. Call me Rach if you've known me for a while.
94. Don't call me Tommo unless you're a boy.
95. I never did my top button up on my blouse at school.
96. I have worn eyeliner nearly everyday of the year since October 2007.
97. Shallow, I know.
98. I can touch type.
99. A teacher once screwed my artwork up in front of my face. I was 5 years old.
    
100. The last thing : I like to smile.

100*. I love my friends, family, pets and J.C

Thanks for reading :)

Reflecting & Moving On.

Having not blogged for ages, it's going to be one of those blogs where everything takes time to write due to the lack of posts on my blog recentley. Christmas and New Year have passed by, but I'm sure I did a minor blog about christmas...just not New Year.
Anyway.
Happy New Year 2009 - Diet. Exercise More. Pass your exams. Make friends. Find that 'other half'.
And all that malarky.
Truth is, I never stick to my resoloutions. I'm too lazy - Oops created another resolution there. Eep!
I hope this year will be good, I have no idea what is likely to happen, what will happen, where I'll be in a years time.

Reflecting

2008 was different.

It was like a massive build up to exams...leaving....saying goodbye's and wish-me-luck's...then I moved onto something totally different, something unexpected in the grand scheme of things. I was independant, mature and sensible enough to make decisions on my own.
There is a part of me that still wants to be in touch with last year. I have a lot of great memories, such as passing my gcse's with flying colours, having my school prom, getting a job, turning 17 and seeing Kerry give birth to 5 kittens. But there is also a longing to move on, for change. I guess anyone would feel like this with the arrival of a new year. It's a new year, a new start as people say. I want something to majorly change, I want to feel complete. Yes I would like a boyfriend to make me feel that way, but something else..either what I do everyday or even how I act in myself. Change is good, good for me right now.

Moving on.
Entering 2009

I want this year to be good, really good.
Changes
I watched the new year in with my family and Auntie Rachel and Emily. It was a bit too quiet for me , we didnt really party or anything. I suppose it was normal to me some years ago, but as Im 17 I'd much rather have gone out and partied or something. Emily stopped for a few days, and I get on better with her (she's 13) then I do with her sister my age. =) We had a good few days so it wasnt too bad.
Hopes
I go back to my apprenticeship on Monday, Im praying everyone will be OK with me. Seems like some people are jealous in there, weird.
Desires
I NEED to go to some sort of music festival, gig or event!!!! I didn't see Within Temptation last year and I wont be able to see them this year either as they are having a break this year =( I didn't get to download '08 either.
I would love to pass my driving test!!! I've had 7 or 8 lessons now, and am feeling confident. Just need to pass my theory....learning it would be good beforehand though =P.

So as this was more of a thoughtful blog, I guess it should make up for my lack of blogs recentley.

Ciao

& Happy New Year.