Enclosure

I feel bound to this house like I cannot escape. I plan to escape soon because I am having a breakdown of being within these 4 walls everynight, sitting alone in my room at the computer reading chapter after chapter of Twilight and becoming obsessed, it's not healthy.

My fingers are ice cold as I touch this, this room is ice cold. Outside there's snow on the ground and the temperature is below freezing, I can almost feel the ice outside. I yearn to go on a long sunny holiday in southern spain...I miss those types of holidays. England is just doom and gloom.

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I cant sleep. I've been in bed since 10:30 under my duvet holding twilight in my hands and reading it, my hands turning to ice as I do so. I have nearly read it all now, but gave up to come online as I cant sleep and staying in bed tossing and turning is not what I want for the next 2 hours.

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I feel trapped, lonely and fed up. I have to go out and do something different! My social life doesn't exist anymore, I barely see anyone and nothing exciting happens around here. OK, the weather doesn't help but I feel as if I need to escape and get out there. But where to go? I can't just jump on a train to Birmingham by myself....I need to go to a gig...or something.
Recentley my town that I live in seems so small and useless for any kind of impact in my social life. It is so boring here, we are near no big cities....Ok there's Telford but nothing happens there either...there's no nightlife. I need to get out and see bigger things, have the chance to meet new people.
That's why I love London so much - It's so exciting with so much to do. How I love our capital city.
I just need to escape and get out of here. It was Ok when I was younger, I mean I've lived most of my life - since I was 4 years old...But now - there's nothing to do. I need to get out.

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I start my placement days tomorrow at a nursery, I'm worried haha. Working with children is hard work but oh so rewarding. I am excited but also nervous.


&& Can someone tell me when my guy is waiting for me around the corner? Im sick of it now, I hate this constant lonelyness, the quiet nights in yearning for someone to love and to love me. Wherever you are come out of hiding. It's killing me without you here. Whoever you may be.