Let's just use words to sum up my day
Babies, screaming, crying, baby food, baby bottles, toys, tidy-up-time,
comfortability, naturalness, happyness , comfort, fitting in, enjoyment
Terrible -two's , screaming, running, crying, shouting, noise, singing, playing , story-time.
Exhaustion.
Yeah, you get the picture.
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I still have this feeling of wanting to escape, it's with me everyday now. I don't see anyone...there seems to be nothing to do at all, Im longing for a means of escape from this environment. It's driving me to insanity now. I think I might give up now and get out sooner than I thought, do something rational just to bring me back down to earth. I had a feeling it's depression, I never thought I could sink this low but at the moment it seems like its the only serious answer to how I am feeling right now.
I think everything went downhill a few weeks before christmas, it just all spiralled downwards. I didn't feel the same anymore, I wasn't seeing anyone, I had personal problems as well as everything good I had breaking into pieces before me. I cannot really admit I am happy and that is the worst feeling, I hate not feeling happy or truthfully admitting it. Im just lying to myself right now, there seems to be no other option but to keep people under the impression that I am Rachel and I am happy, I don't want to worry anyone, but Im past the point of caring now ...I'm just like this anyway. Those who know me closely might be able to tell though, they'll have to "break through the surface" so to speak. (Referring to my blog description)
Help?
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I still have this feeling of wanting to escape, it's with me everyday now. I don't see anyone...there seems to be nothing to do at all, Im longing for a means of escape from this environment. It's driving me to insanity now. I think I might give up now and get out sooner than I thought, do something rational just to bring me back down to earth. I had a feeling it's depression, I never thought I could sink this low but at the moment it seems like its the only serious answer to how I am feeling right now.
I think everything went downhill a few weeks before christmas, it just all spiralled downwards. I didn't feel the same anymore, I wasn't seeing anyone, I had personal problems as well as everything good I had breaking into pieces before me. I cannot really admit I am happy and that is the worst feeling, I hate not feeling happy or truthfully admitting it. Im just lying to myself right now, there seems to be no other option but to keep people under the impression that I am Rachel and I am happy, I don't want to worry anyone, but Im past the point of caring now ...I'm just like this anyway. Those who know me closely might be able to tell though, they'll have to "break through the surface" so to speak. (Referring to my blog description)
Help?
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