Disappointment

Unfortunatley, sometimes you can get so excited about something and carried away that you forget all sense of praticallity and sensibility that you wonder why you even bothered in the first place.

This is what happened to me, a few days ago. Wednesday to be precise. I'd had an interview at a nursery in Stafford, to see if they would employ me as an apprentice for my NVQ level 2. I got there late after failing to find the nursery the first time round, and was greeted by one of the managers. I had a tour round, and it was a fairly big nursery and all the staff smiled at me. I then had a chat with the other managers, including the one I'd spoke to on the phone, Steph. Everything was fine, and the other manager was concerned that travelling from where I live everyday was going to be a struggle, but I said I was prepared to do it....or so I thought.
I left the nursery feeling proud of myself, as they were obviously very interested in taking me on...and offered me a 2 week trial starting at 9 in the morning until 4:30.
I was exhausted by the time I'd reached the bus stop which was a good 20 minute walk away from the nursery...and then waited for the bus home where I saw 3 of my friends from school =] we had a good chat. They are actually doing childcare at college, but dont get a paid placement like I'll end up having. The bus journey took about 25 minutes and we stopped in the town center , and loads more people I knew from BBS got on...was weird seeing them after nearly a year.
I finally got home an hour and 10 minutes later, and Mum said It was gonna be too much...and I rang the nursery up to apologise and say I wouldn't be coming on the trial. Gutted..but sometimes you need to follow your brain over your heart. Praticality won this time.

Thursday I didn't go into training, as I felt like crap and attempted to do 1 question on my assignment and just about managed. I then collapsed into bed for an hour cause I felt too weak to anything else....today I am doing nothing and cancelled my driving lesson because I also feel not well enough to drive. I learnt that lesson last time, I'd been ill and tried to have a driving lesson but did everything wrong and felt crap about myself. *sigh*

Also, Im giving up on finding anyone right now. I dont think I can take anymore hurt or stress from a guy. Im gonna wait until I find someone who is worth my time, and will treat me like a proper girlfriend.

As for the rest of the day...I have nothing planned. I guarentee I wont be working tomorrow...idiots. So another week without pay! Gah. And EMA better come bloody soon...I hardly have anything in my bank. Im skint lol